


you fucked me so good that i almost said i love you

by boristhespider



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Fuckbuddies, M/M, fwb to lovers, i love being soft, no real smut sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:14:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21770845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boristhespider/pseuds/boristhespider
Summary: TK and Nolan were friends. Good friends.
Relationships: Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick
Comments: 7
Kudos: 146





	you fucked me so good that i almost said i love you

TK wiped his mouth after pulling away from Nolan, who collapsed down on the bed as he came down from his orgasm. “Good game,” he joked, mouth half quirked upwards. Travis did not kiss Nolan like he felt compelled to, so he could taste himself on his tongue. Instead he laughed breathily and lifted himself up.

“I’m going to brush my fucking teeth.”

This was their situation. TK and Nolan were friends. Good friends. As professional hockey players, they didn’t always get the time they needed to release their sexual frustrations. TK and Nolan helped each other out in that sense. And they were friends. Good friends. These were their terms.

It would be easy, TK thought, understandable, even, to confuse his friendship love with feelings of the _in-love_ romantic kind when sexual behavior was involved. The problem became evident when he would feel it outside of that behavior. The twist in his stomach when they caught each other’s eyes across the ice. The lightheadedness when Nolan laughed at something he’d said. The urge to be touching him, all the time – beyond friendly fist bumps and punches on the shoulder, but an urge to put his hand on his thigh when they watched movies, to grab his hand over the gearshift on the rides back home, to slide his hand across his waist as they passed each other in a room.

It was hard sometimes, to hold himself back, as self-restraint was not the first thing he’d list of his strengths. But he was dealing with it just fine, he thought. There was no reason to intervene with what they had going right now. It was good, and he was fine.

They usually talked after hooking up. Not about anything in particular, but whatever was on their minds as they recovered. Usually light subjects, until one left or fell asleep. TK was not prepared for what Nolan decided to start with tonight.

“You fucked me so good,” he said once their breathing had slowed, “I almost said ‘I love you.’”

TK stayed silent for a few moments, trying to parse what he’d just heard, then turned his head to look at Nolan, whose gaze was still trained upwards. “I do love you,” TK said, as earnestly as he could allow without feeling like throwing up.

“Well, I know,” Nolan laughed quietly. “I love you too, man. You’re, like, my best friend.”

“No, I know we’re friends. I know… I know you love me,” Travis said, then he sighed, “It’s good… it’s good to be good friends.” He squeezed his eyes closed now, turning his face further toward the mattress beneath him.

“Trav,” Nolan started to say something softly, but Travis spoke first.

“I just wanna kiss you, man.”

A beat of terrible, terrifying silence.

“Trav,” Nolan said again, shifting slightly to face toward Travis. “I mean, we have–we have sex, do you mean, like, kissing more during sex?” He sounded almost desperate in his tone. “Like, we make out a bit, but I always thought kissing was like, not a sex buddy thing to do –”

“No, Pat, I mean like,” Travis turned up to the ceiling again, not willing to look Nolan in the eye during this. “I wanna kiss you, like, all the time. Not just during sex. I think about kissing you all the time.”

Another beat of horrible silence.

“Like… right now?”

“Don’t fuck with me right now, Nolan.”

“I’m not, dude.”

Travis looked at him now, briefly wondering if it was too late to spin this into a joke, before saying, “Yeah, dude, like always.”

“Then can I?”

“Can you – what?”

“Can I kiss you right now?”

Travis stilled. “...Yeah.”

Nolan leaned forward to close the gap between them, before pausing as their noses touched. He held Travis’s gaze for a moment before glancing down and pressing their lips together.

Travis inhaled sharply through his nose, then immediately pushed further into Nolan.

Nolan held one hand on Travis’s face, mouthing softly once at Travis’s bottom lip before pulling back just slightly. “Is that what you want? All the time?”

Travis felt like crying. “Yes, fuck, yes. All the fucking time.”

Nolan smiled gently. “You could have just told me.”

Travis laughed, almost crazily. “How was I supposed to tell you that? ‘Hey Patty, I know we’re both NHL players and teammates and dudes but I love fucking you and I think I have a giant embarrassing crush on you?”

Nolan smiled, stroking his thumb over Travis’s sideburn. “I don’t know, man. But I think we could make that work.”

“You swear to god you’re not fucking with me?”

Nolan rolled his eyes and open his arms, pulling Travis into him. “C’mere.”

Travis let himself fit against Nolan, pressing his face against his bare chest. He breathed in Nolan’s scent, a mix of sweat and sex and old cologne and what was inherently Nolan, and let the comfort of that familiarity soothe him. If this was some kind of dream or fucked up prank from the universe, he would deal with that in the morning. For now, he let himself be lulled to sleep by Nolan’s breathing and the beat of his heart against his cheek.

When morning did come, panic instantly ripped through Travis’s body, before easing slightly as he saw Nolan still asleep beside him. They had separated in their sleep, but one of Nolan’s arms was still trapped under TK’s head, one of TK’s legs draped over Nolan’s.

He let his mind run over the course of last night. He and Patty had been watching TV. One of them got horny and they made it to the bedroom. They had sex – Travis maybe more into it than usual – and Nolan had implied it was some of the best sex they’d had. Then TK admitted something he was still figuring out, and Nolan had kissed him, then cuddled him to sleep.

It couldn’t be a joke, right? But the fear that Nolan would wake up with regret creeped into Travis until he couldn’t lay there any longer. He got up carefully, trying not to disturb Nolan, and padded into the kitchen. He needed coffee – or maybe a beer or three, but even he couldn’t justify drinking that early when they had a schedule.

It may have been the noise of the coffee maker, or Travis being louder than he was intending, but it was only a few minutes before Nolan meandered into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Mornin’,” Nolan said, wearing a small smile until he saw what must have been the panic-stricken look on TK’s face. “You okay?”

Travis watched as Nolan walked forward until he was leaning against the counter next to him.

Travis figured, why beat around the bush? “Did you mean it last night?” he asked. What’s the worst that could happen now? “Like, what you said and, what you did?”

Nolan blinked. “Yeah, man. I told you I wouldn’t fuck with you like that.”

“I just,” Travis groaned, more to himself than anything else. “Like, do you want to actually date me?” He crossed his arms over his chest, as if that would somehow shield his heart. “Like. Do you want me? Or do you not.” He voiced the last part as more of a statement than a question.

Nolan sighed in return, before pushing off the counter and saying, “Why don’t we get this coffee and sit down like normal people?”

Travis couldn’t imagine a crueler fate. His heart threatened to beat out of his chest every second that passed until Nolan had made himself a mug and they were sat at the dining table. Finally, Nolan looked Travis in the eyes.

“I meant it, Trav,” he said. “I know what you said about us being like, guys and hockey players and stuff, but I know what _I_ said when I said we could make it work.”

He held Travis’s gaze for a moment before adding, “If – if that’s what you want.”

Travis looked down at his coffee, focusing on his hands wrapped around the mug. “Yeah.” He looked up. “That’s what I want.”

Nolan smiled. If Travis allowed himself, he might have seen adoration written all over the other man’s face. “Cool.”

“Cool.”

Suddenly gripped by an unexplainable feeling, laughter burst from Travis’s chest. “Cool,” he said again. Then, now filled with bravery, “Does that mean I can kiss you whenever?”

“Only if I can kiss you whenever.”

Travis laughed again. “Cool.”

They finished their coffee. The subject easily changed, to their next game, some shit their teammates had gotten up to, a new movie Nolan thought looked good. When they got up, Travis kissed Nolan on the corner of his mouth.

“Come on, dude,” Nolan said. “Give me a real one.” Then kissed Travis square on the lips.

Travis laughed. He couldn’t help doing it. He let himself brush up against Nolan as they placed their mugs by the sink, and kissed him again as they turned around.

This was their situation. TK and Nolan were friends. Good friends. They drove to practice together. They chirped each other on the ice. They had sex. They also held hands over the gearshift. They played footsie under tables. They cuddled on the couch and in bed. They kissed each other in the mornings, and at night, and in between the stalls in the empty locker room, and when they just felt like it.

And TK figured Nolan was right. What they had was good. They’d make it work.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if stuff like this has been written before. i got high and was listening to lana del rey and wrote this with only one edit through. also yes the confession scene is heavily based off of the campfire scene from my own private idaho. that movie haunts my brain and in my inebriated state i didn’t want to think about anything else. title and line in the fic from the song “norman fucking rockwell” by lana and the second line ("do you want me or do you not?") from “happiness is a butterfly,” also by lana. that whole album is killing me. 
> 
> follow me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/tkphobe/) or [tumblr](http://062415.tumblr.com/) if you feel so compelled lol


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